Whole

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What would it feel like to lose a limb? I tried to put myself in these patients shoe(s) as I sat in the prosthetics lab taking photos for departmental updates. David (the man in the scrubs) had graciously invited me to come down when he knew he’d have several patients that day. Our prosthetics lab is completely run on donations/support, and we offer anyone who needs it a new prosthetic limb and the physical therapy to use it for free. I love everything that we do at Mission of Hope, but this is one of the coolest parts, in my opinion. After the earthquake, one of the most common injuries was loss of limbs. Prosthetics are a huge need.

Again, I asked, what would it be like to not have a limb? I tried to imagine a part of me suddenly not a part of me anymore. I imagined what it might feel like trying to move something that isn’t there anymore. I sat there and watched David help this man fit his prosthetic on nice and snug. He was a new patient. The man stood up, caught his balance, and then stood. I also tried imagining what it must feel like to have not been able to stand on my own, and then to suddenly be able to again. To feel whole again. I felt for this man what must have been such bliss – it hit me how beautiful this ministry is and how it is but a faint echo of what it feels to experience intimacy and restored, redeemed relationship with Christ.

Colossians 2:10 says “and in Christ you have been brought into fullness.” (NIV) King James Version says “And ye are complete in Him.”
Before Christ I never felt full, I was always wanting. I was always coming up short (more than just my height). I never found what I was looking for. A part of me was missing and I was trying to fill that with just about everything else in this world except for Christ. I wondered why I couldn’t seem to get it to work right for me like I thought I saw it working for just about everyone else.

“You don’t need that, you need Me.” was the gentle whisper I heard two summers ago. I’ll never forget it. I was sitting in the mall somewhere, on my lunch break from work, on the phone with my mom crying. “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to change.” I was so fed up with feeling empty, incomplete. His words breathed life into my bones. I’m reminded of the story of Ezekiel in the Valley of Dry Bones (Chapter 37), when God says to him, “Son of man, can these bones live?” Ezekiel replied, “Only You would know.”
Then He said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath[a] enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.'”

And that’s what He did. Both in this story, in my own story, and each day in the lives of people all over the world. Right here in Haiti, in the prosthetics lab. What’s even more moving is David’s heart to share the Gospel with these people as they come through. We talked about it, and he essentially told me with great passion, “There’s no point to what I do if they don’t know that there’s a God out there that loves them and gave Himself for them.” Physical wholeness is nothing if you aren’t spiritually whole.

We are complete in Him, lacking nothing.

Psalm 34:9 Fear the Lord, you His holy people, for those who fear Him lack nothing.

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“He rejoices to…

“He rejoices to sustain you and he rejoices with all his heart and with all his soul… I ask you, I challenge you, can you conceive of an intensity of desire that is greater than a desire empowered by “all God’s heart and all God’s soul”? Suppose you took all the desire for food and sex and money and fame and power and meaning and friends and security in the hearts and souls of all the human beings on the earth—say about six billion—and you put all that desire, multiplied by all those six billion hearts and souls, into a container. How would it compare to the desire of God to do you good implied in the words, “with all his heart and with all his soul”? It would compare like a thimble to the Pacific Ocean. Because the heart and soul of God are infinite. And the hearts and souls of man are finite. There is no intensity greater than the intensity of “all God’s heart, and all God’s soul.” And that is the intensity of the joy he has in sustaining you with sovereign grace: “I will rejoice over them to do them good . . . with all my heart and all my soul.”

John Piper on Jeremiah 32:36–42:

Paid in two ways.

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A big God moment for me was Monday when I was sitting at the guest house waiting around for the State Side Staff to arrive in country. Faby, one of our translators, had just gotten back with his North American volunteer group from a day of work, and he came over to chat with me. This was the first time we had officially met, though I already knew who he was from seeing him around and hearing a lot about him. I asked him how he liked his job, which he said he had for almost two months now. He replied with an “I love it.” He proceeded to tell me about how he was not a good person before he came to Mission of Hope, and how God had changed him so much since starting to work here. He said that God had opened his eyes, and was teaching him how to not be so selfish with what he has – his time, his resources and money, and with his love. He says that God, through Mission of Hope, has taught him how to really love people. He said that he has gotten paid in two ways, the first monetary, and the second in a way that can’t be counted. One thing he said that really showed me his heart was when he told me he’d be willing to translate whenever we need him even if it means no pay, because what he has received as a result is something you just can’t pay for. I was floored and humbled, to say the least. I really didn’t know what to say back. Faby was an amazing reminder to me of why we are down here doing what we are doing – the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to change someone’s life and to give them hope. It was also a challenge to live more consistently in the reckless abandonment of everything except loving my Maker and loving people, no matter what the cost. God keeps bringing up the theme of being “broken bread and poured out wine” for Him and His children, and I feel like I’ve grasped another little part of what that looks like.

Vita Lodge

Vita Lodge

A couple of the girls and I went to a little pool house in Port au Prince this past Saturday for our day off. Diana to the left, is the other teacher here, and Nicki, to the right, is in Church Advancement. The day consisted of lots of laughter, sun, good food and conversation. I am also burnt to a crisp.

Today, all of the State-side staff will be arriving to spend a couple days with everyone here “on the ground,” as we call it. As you can probably guess, the ocean between us can make us all feel a little disconnected despite technology’s best efforts. We’ve had a lot of new changes in leadership and structure of the organization to best deal with the massive growth and blessing Mission of Hope is seeing, so it’s a good chance for everyone to fellowship and get on the same page. We only have 5 volunteers here this week (as opposed to the fluctuation of between 80-250 people a week we’ve seen in the past month) so this week will be a little bit of a break.

Ak Tout Bagay

These last few weeks have been challenging, but good none-the-less. It’s interesting being away from everything I would always fall back on – my best friends, my church, my family. I would go to God with my problems and trials, but He would almost never be the first. Or, maybe I would pray to Him about whatever it was, but I wouldn’t wait long enough to really hear from Him. Here, while my friends and family are only a call away, I’ve had to learn to go to Him first, and to really press in until I hear from Him. It’s honestly something I should have put into practice a long time ago, and I’m still working through the kinks. Thank God for grace, that He covers me in this learning process. Thank God that He never gives up on me. Thank God that He has taken full responsibility to make me into the woman He planned for me to be before the earth and the heavens were even created. If it were up to me, I’d be in trouble. I wouldn’t be here.

In church on Tuesday I had a beautiful moment. We were worshiping, and I was singing along but in my mind, I was all over the place. I was thinking about something I keep struggling with, something I was struggling with at that very moment even. I was getting mad for struggling with the same thing. Feeling unworthy to really even be there worshiping. I felt God say, “Corinne! Humble yourself! Let your own weakness point you to who I am! Lay down your need to be perfect and trust me to do the work myself! Exalt me!” I thought of the verse, “Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men so that you would not grow weary or lose heart!”  Who was I focused so much on? Myself. I also thought of the verse where it says, “However, to the one who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, their faith is credited as righteousness.” (Romans 4:5) We started to sing this song –  “Ak tout bagay, ak tout bagay, nap kriye lwanj pou glwa ou..” which is “With everything, with everything…. we will shout for your glory!” It goes on to say,  “With everything, with everything we will shout forth your praise!” I blocked out everything in my head by singing with everything that I had in me, “With everything I will shout forth your praise!!!!” It’s still hard, but I can’t afford to keep taking my focus off of Him. Eph. 1 says that I was created for the praise of His glory, and that’s what I need to do.

This week:

Wednesday we’re taking a beach day with the boys. Friday we’re doing a sunrise Easter service where we get up and watch the sun come up and talk about Jesus and have pancakes. Caleb and Noah technically have this week off of home school for spring break, but we’re working through it to try and get ahead. They are taking a week in April to go back to the States, so that will be their spring break.

I got asked by MOH to do a short video asking Haitians what worship means to them, which I am super excited about. I’m going to get started on Tuesday night before church – my buddy Villarson is going to translate interviews for me, and I’ll get some shots of worship. I still need a computer to edit, so we’ll see how God works that part of it out. He is good; He will provide if this is His will.

Good morning

Good morning

from Haiti.

My focus lately has been on a couple things:
1. Trying to stay grounded in the Lord. Making sure to seek His face every day. Rejoicing in the hope of the glory of God, rejoicing in my sufferings which produce perseverance, character and hope.
2. Figuring out how to show Noah and Caleb how to write good papers. I have taken for granted all my knowledge on brainstorming and outline-making.. Trying to remember how I was taught back in the day.

Praying for:
1. Possible film ministry here at Mission of Hope. The money to get a computer to edit on. The financial support needed to commit to possibly another six months here.
2. The boys. I’ve taken on devotionals completely with them and it is my prayer that their faith would become their own. I pray for relationship with the Lord for them and spiritual understanding.
3. That Caleb would not be discouraged about school and that he might actually start to like it. That he would see what he can do through Christ, which is anything.
4. Strength and joy and peace in Jesus. A continual washing of my heart and mind and spirit in Him. Greater intimacy. Greater trust. Greater devotion.