These last few weeks have been challenging, but good none-the-less. It’s interesting being away from everything I would always fall back on – my best friends, my church, my family. I would go to God with my problems and trials, but He would almost never be the first. Or, maybe I would pray to Him about whatever it was, but I wouldn’t wait long enough to really hear from Him. Here, while my friends and family are only a call away, I’ve had to learn to go to Him first, and to really press in until I hear from Him. It’s honestly something I should have put into practice a long time ago, and I’m still working through the kinks. Thank God for grace, that He covers me in this learning process. Thank God that He never gives up on me. Thank God that He has taken full responsibility to make me into the woman He planned for me to be before the earth and the heavens were even created. If it were up to me, I’d be in trouble. I wouldn’t be here.
In church on Tuesday I had a beautiful moment. We were worshiping, and I was singing along but in my mind, I was all over the place. I was thinking about something I keep struggling with, something I was struggling with at that very moment even. I was getting mad for struggling with the same thing. Feeling unworthy to really even be there worshiping. I felt God say, “Corinne! Humble yourself! Let your own weakness point you to who I am! Lay down your need to be perfect and trust me to do the work myself! Exalt me!” I thought of the verse, “Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men so that you would not grow weary or lose heart!” Who was I focused so much on? Myself. I also thought of the verse where it says, “However, to the one who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, their faith is credited as righteousness.” (Romans 4:5) We started to sing this song – “Ak tout bagay, ak tout bagay, nap kriye lwanj pou glwa ou..” which is “With everything, with everything…. we will shout for your glory!” It goes on to say, “With everything, with everything we will shout forth your praise!” I blocked out everything in my head by singing with everything that I had in me, “With everything I will shout forth your praise!!!!” It’s still hard, but I can’t afford to keep taking my focus off of Him. Eph. 1 says that I was created for the praise of His glory, and that’s what I need to do.